Aerial view of Frankford Playground.
The ambulances to carry the suburban kids
to the hospital used to wait on Saul Street.
I was a first string left tackle, a second string halfback, and the third string quarterback, although to tell the truth that last one is more of a comment on the team's lack of demand for player skill rather than on my legerdemain -- I can remember the beloved coach, a big guy with a voice that sounded like coal coming down Chute Number Nine named Tom McCarthy, yelling, "Pete, stop carrying the football like a loaf of bread!"
We were, however, a big, powerful team compared to others in the Philadelphia playground league. I remember genuinely regretting football games against suburban teams -- it seemed like we were always sending one or more of the skinny, lanky suburban players to the hospital in the ambulance parked next to the ballfield every game. This is not an exaggeration.
1960s Ambulance
I became a nerdy "intellectual type" in my college and law school years, largely disinterested in football. This continued through most of my marriage. My wife, Rise`, was the Eagle's fan, not me.
Until a few years ago. Rise` now says, "I can't believe it! Out of the blue, a few years ago, you suddenly started becoming fanatical about football! It's very annoying! Now I have to watch the games, even when I want to turn them off because the Eagles are losing so bad, because you want to watch them!"
I like Eagles coach Chip Kelly -- well, until recently. Now, Chip has accidentally created a team that is boring. And, I guess because I am a lawyer, he sometimes drives me crazy with how often he lets the refs get away with apparently bad calls.
The situations like that which have really made me crazy were about the most important thing in football -- the touchdown calls. Functionally, the problem is that there is no good definition of what a "touchdown" is which is applicable to all situations.
HYPOTHETICAL: The current score is VISITORS 35, EAGLES 34. There is 1 second left on the clock. The Eagles have the ball. The Eagles receiver is in the end zone with a bunch of players from the Visitors' defense trying to keep him from catching the ball. The Eagles quarterback throws a Hail Mary. The Eagles receiver jumps and rises up into the sky above the end zone, higher than anyone thought possible, and raises his arms up, and catches the football, and while in the air he pulls the ball down to his body and has a very firm grip on it.
Aghast, the Eagles' crowd cheers.
Touchdown?
Nope! Not yet!
One of the Visitors defenders tackles the Eagles receiver with the ball is firmly in control in the Eagles' receivers' hands, while the Eagles receiver is still in the air.
The Visitors defensive tackler's tackling motion carries the Eagles' receiver out of the back of the end zone before his feet touch the ground.
Ruling: No touchdown.
No touchdown???!!! No touchdown???!!!
I've seen it happen twice in the last few years. No touchdown.
The problem is the official NFL Rules. And it's a big, big, big problem.
Vis-a-vis the preceding situation, we refer to
Order of the Rules
Rule 3. Definitions
Section 2. The Ball and Possession of the Ball
Article 7. Player Possession
Item 2. Possession of a Loose Ball
To gain possession of a loose ball that has been caught, intercepted, or recovered, a player must have complete control of the ball and have both feet or any other part of his body, other than his hands, completely on the ground inbounds, and then maintain control of the ball until he has clearly become a runner. A player becomes a runner when he is capable of avoiding or warding off impending contact of an opponent. If the player loses the ball while simultaneously touching both feet or any other part of his body to the ground, there is no possession. This rule applies in the field of play and in the end zone.
That's pretty clear. Not dramatically clear, but pretty clear. In effect, the Rules, as written, want to see the receiver spending some time physically on the ground, poised to defend against bad guys attacking him. In our hypothetical, here, the Eagles receiver never did that.
Okay. Okay. If that's what they demand ...
HYPOTHETICAL: Same facts, except that instead of being tackled in mid-air and carried out the back of the end zone, our flying Eagles receiver comes down hard on his ass in the end zone.
Hmmm. While this is clearly "complete control of the ball and hav[ing] *** [a] part of his body, other than his hands, completely on the ground inbounds," is this "maintain[ing] control of the ball until he has clearly become a runner. A player becomes a runner when he is capable of avoiding or warding off impending contact of an opponent"?
Yow! I doubt it!
Yet, no ref in the league would have the courage to call such a successful reception in the end zone a non-touchdown, right?
In awarding a touchdown in the latter case, but not the former, a ref could say, "Listen, the goal of football is to have the ball firmly in the end zone. This is clearly the intent of the rules, which must be applied to the meaning. The ball firmly in the Eagles receivers' arms followed by the Visitors defenders' failure to throw him out of the end zone before he is firmly on the ground on his ass is grounds enough to award a touchdown. Right? Right?"
Okay. Okay. But then, how about this ? ...
HYPOTHETICAL: Same facts, except that instead of being tackled in mid-air and carried out the back of the end zone, our flying Eagles receiver comes down hard on his ass, onto the shoulders of one of the Visitors defenders, and then the defenders, with the Eagles receiver still up in the air do the chicken dance in the end zone to show off to the Eagles crowd ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xmV5uHWNag
... and then, before the rest of the offense can come in and rescue the Eagles receiver, the defenders throw the Eagles receiver out of the end zone.
Well, even though I've never seen that chicken dance thing in the end zone, in my opinion it's NOT a touchdown. It's really just a slowly-occurring version of the first case, at the beginning of this blog item.
What would the refs do with it?
That's a little hard to say. There are "notes" after the official NFL rules which appear to be an official part of the rules rather than mere observations or opinions or interpretations.
Order of the Rules
Rule 3. Definitions
Section 2. The Ball and Possession of the Ball
Article 7. Player Possession
Note 1.
"A player is considered to be going to the ground if he does not remain upright long enough to demonstrate that he is clearly a runner.."
So, just "being upright long enough," not like a good Presbyterian, but like a Dolphins ball carrier or a Buccaneers ball carrier or a Lions ball carrier, is enough to qualify a receiver as a "runner."
How many seconds of being upright on the shoulders of a defender doing the chicken dance in the end zone is "long enough"?
Let's say that the refs rule "touchdown" because the defense danced the chicken dance in the end zone with the Eagles receiver upright on their shoulders for too many seconds.
Okay. Okay. But how about this ? ...
HYPOTHETICAL: Same facts, except that instead of being tackled in mid-air and carried out the back of the end zone, our flying Eagles receiver comes down hard on his side, onto the shoulders of one of the Visitors defenders, and then the defenders, with the Eagles receiver still up in the air, on his side, on one of the defenders' shoulders, do the chicken dance in the end zone to show off to the Eagles crowd, and then, before the rest of the offense can come in and rescue the Eagles receiver, the defenders throw the Eagles receiver out of the end zone.
Hmmmmmmm. Uprightness is no longer available in the facts as a way of finding that the Eagles receiver has become a "runner," as required by the official NFL rule book.
So, defenders must remember that if they do the chicken dance in the end zone, they must carry the Eagles receiver sideways.
Okay. Okay. But how about this ? ...
HYPOTHETICAL: Same facts, except that instead of being tackled in mid-air and carried out the back of the end zone, our flying Eagles receiver comes down hard sideways onto a pile of Eagle and Visitors players, where the Visitors defenders are crass enough to tightly hold the Eagles receiver, who is curled-up like a fetus around the ball, on the top of the pile, with no part of the Eagles receivers' body ever coming in contact with the ground. The pile freezes in this position. The refs, faced with an ambiguous situation, take out some folding chairs and start looking at pictures in National Geographic Magazine, to give the players time to either carry the sideways guy out of the end zone, or to give the Eagles receiver time to figure out how to touch the ground.
One minute passes. Two minutes. Finally, Visitors fans start throwing beer and popcorn at Eagles fans in the stands, and the Eagles' fans start leaving the stadium, knowing that it is impossible that the Eagles will win any more games.
Finally, one of the refs blows his whistle.
How should he rule?
HYPOTHETICAL: The current score is VISITORS 35, EAGLES 34. There is 1 second left on the clock. The Eagles have the ball. The Eagles receiver is in the end zone with a bunch of players from the Visitors' defense trying to keep him from catching the ball. The Eagles quarterback throws a Hail Mary. The Eagles receiver jumps and rises up into the sky above the end zone, higher than anyone thought possible, and raises his arms up, and catches the football, and while in the air he pulls the ball down to his body and has a very firm grip on it.
Aghast, the Eagles' crowd cheers.
Touchdown?
Nope! Not yet!
One of the Visitors defenders tackles the Eagles receiver with the ball is firmly in control in the Eagles' receivers' hands, while the Eagles receiver is still in the air.
The Visitors defensive tackler's tackling motion carries the Eagles' receiver out of the back of the end zone before his feet touch the ground.
Ruling: No touchdown.
No touchdown???!!! No touchdown???!!!
I've seen it happen twice in the last few years. No touchdown.
The problem is the official NFL Rules. And it's a big, big, big problem.
Vis-a-vis the preceding situation, we refer to
Order of the Rules
Rule 3. Definitions
Section 2. The Ball and Possession of the Ball
Article 7. Player Possession
Item 2. Possession of a Loose Ball
To gain possession of a loose ball that has been caught, intercepted, or recovered, a player must have complete control of the ball and have both feet or any other part of his body, other than his hands, completely on the ground inbounds, and then maintain control of the ball until he has clearly become a runner. A player becomes a runner when he is capable of avoiding or warding off impending contact of an opponent. If the player loses the ball while simultaneously touching both feet or any other part of his body to the ground, there is no possession. This rule applies in the field of play and in the end zone.
That's pretty clear. Not dramatically clear, but pretty clear. In effect, the Rules, as written, want to see the receiver spending some time physically on the ground, poised to defend against bad guys attacking him. In our hypothetical, here, the Eagles receiver never did that.
Okay. Okay. If that's what they demand ...
HYPOTHETICAL: Same facts, except that instead of being tackled in mid-air and carried out the back of the end zone, our flying Eagles receiver comes down hard on his ass in the end zone.
Hmmm. While this is clearly "complete control of the ball and hav[ing] *** [a] part of his body, other than his hands, completely on the ground inbounds," is this "maintain[ing] control of the ball until he has clearly become a runner. A player becomes a runner when he is capable of avoiding or warding off impending contact of an opponent"?
Yow! I doubt it!
Yet, no ref in the league would have the courage to call such a successful reception in the end zone a non-touchdown, right?
In awarding a touchdown in the latter case, but not the former, a ref could say, "Listen, the goal of football is to have the ball firmly in the end zone. This is clearly the intent of the rules, which must be applied to the meaning. The ball firmly in the Eagles receivers' arms followed by the Visitors defenders' failure to throw him out of the end zone before he is firmly on the ground on his ass is grounds enough to award a touchdown. Right? Right?"
Okay. Okay. But then, how about this ? ...
HYPOTHETICAL: Same facts, except that instead of being tackled in mid-air and carried out the back of the end zone, our flying Eagles receiver comes down hard on his ass, onto the shoulders of one of the Visitors defenders, and then the defenders, with the Eagles receiver still up in the air do the chicken dance in the end zone to show off to the Eagles crowd ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xmV5uHWNag
... and then, before the rest of the offense can come in and rescue the Eagles receiver, the defenders throw the Eagles receiver out of the end zone.
Well, even though I've never seen that chicken dance thing in the end zone, in my opinion it's NOT a touchdown. It's really just a slowly-occurring version of the first case, at the beginning of this blog item.
What would the refs do with it?
That's a little hard to say. There are "notes" after the official NFL rules which appear to be an official part of the rules rather than mere observations or opinions or interpretations.
Order of the Rules
Rule 3. Definitions
Section 2. The Ball and Possession of the Ball
Article 7. Player Possession
Note 1.
"A player is considered to be going to the ground if he does not remain upright long enough to demonstrate that he is clearly a runner.."
So, just "being upright long enough," not like a good Presbyterian, but like a Dolphins ball carrier or a Buccaneers ball carrier or a Lions ball carrier, is enough to qualify a receiver as a "runner."
How many seconds of being upright on the shoulders of a defender doing the chicken dance in the end zone is "long enough"?
Let's say that the refs rule "touchdown" because the defense danced the chicken dance in the end zone with the Eagles receiver upright on their shoulders for too many seconds.
Okay. Okay. But how about this ? ...
HYPOTHETICAL: Same facts, except that instead of being tackled in mid-air and carried out the back of the end zone, our flying Eagles receiver comes down hard on his side, onto the shoulders of one of the Visitors defenders, and then the defenders, with the Eagles receiver still up in the air, on his side, on one of the defenders' shoulders, do the chicken dance in the end zone to show off to the Eagles crowd, and then, before the rest of the offense can come in and rescue the Eagles receiver, the defenders throw the Eagles receiver out of the end zone.
Hmmmmmmm. Uprightness is no longer available in the facts as a way of finding that the Eagles receiver has become a "runner," as required by the official NFL rule book.
So, defenders must remember that if they do the chicken dance in the end zone, they must carry the Eagles receiver sideways.
Okay. Okay. But how about this ? ...
HYPOTHETICAL: Same facts, except that instead of being tackled in mid-air and carried out the back of the end zone, our flying Eagles receiver comes down hard sideways onto a pile of Eagle and Visitors players, where the Visitors defenders are crass enough to tightly hold the Eagles receiver, who is curled-up like a fetus around the ball, on the top of the pile, with no part of the Eagles receivers' body ever coming in contact with the ground. The pile freezes in this position. The refs, faced with an ambiguous situation, take out some folding chairs and start looking at pictures in National Geographic Magazine, to give the players time to either carry the sideways guy out of the end zone, or to give the Eagles receiver time to figure out how to touch the ground.
One minute passes. Two minutes. Finally, Visitors fans start throwing beer and popcorn at Eagles fans in the stands, and the Eagles' fans start leaving the stadium, knowing that it is impossible that the Eagles will win any more games.
Finally, one of the refs blows his whistle.
How should he rule?
NO TOUCHDOWN. BOTH HIS FEET DID NOT TOUCH THE GROUND IN BOUNDS
ReplyDeletePeter J. Oteri
Hey, Pete. How are you doing/ Even though this last hypothetical is the functional equivalent of the case where the end zone receiver is tackled-out-of the end zone before he touches the ground, I personally think that the refs will ignore the both-feet-on-the-ground rule and award the touchdown to the offensive receiver stuck in the "upper stories' of a pile-up in the end zone.
ReplyDeletePete Dawson